Sunday, January 24, 2016

Jesus > than my addiction to sin

This addiction, it hurts me, killing me slowly.
I hate it! Yet I run back to it because I think that it holds me.
It grips me tightly never letting me go; 
Would I have ever started had I known what I now know?!?!

I fight back screaming, kicking, clawing!
Hoping that I'll wake up and find it's just a dream.
But, no, it's not. It's reality, it's as real as ever;
Waiting for my weakest moment to leap and devour. 

I can't beat this thing, it's stronger then I will ever be!
It's smuggling, blinding, choking me-I no longer can see!
My heart is heavy, full of grief, disgust and shame. 
I can't even look at myself, cause when I do I hate what I see and am in so much pain.

I lay down defeated, tired and weary; 
To find when I look up, I'm met with it's gaze of wrath and fury.
I wince, breathing deeply, waiting for the blows to come
Wishing that somehow, somehow this could all be undone!

Then I see Him.. Perfect, Righteous, Holy, Good, the King of Kings.
Standing there, gazing at me.
I can't bear to look at Him. I turn away, ready to flee; 
When He grasps my hand and says, "Child, you are Mine, come to Me." 

Taking my face in His Hands, He wipes my tears and holds me.
Shame, guilt, condemnation, embarrassment, disappointment
is what I am feeling. How can he call me His? I think.
I look into His eyes and I'm not met with anger, condemnation or disgust. 
Instead all I see is love, grace, mercy and a bit of sadness...

Ashamed I turn my face away, wanting to melt into the floor.
"Jesus, don't look at me," I cry, "I'm not worth it! I'm not good enough anymore!
I mess up! I hurt you! I fall into the things of this world again and again!
Why on earth do you want me, why do you call me Your friend?
When everyday on earth I spit on You, I mock You, I shove Your sacrifice in Your face
Why do you want me, Lord? Why do you even look my way?!?"

Jesus smiles and knowingly says, "Because I love you, Child, and you are Mine

I created you, My masterpiece, My princess. You are divine. 
I only make things of priceless value, precious significance and of much, much worth.
I knew you before time began, created and saw you before birth."

"I knew you would mess up and sin and run from Me; 

That is why I made a way for you to come back the day I died on the tree. 
My desire is a relationship with you, for you to know Your creator, 
Stop running from Me, Child, for I want you, you were created for something so much greater! 

"I came to earth a baby, yet the Prince of Peace, Lord of Lords, Savior of the world!
To save you from the Evil one, who to you just wants to kill, devour and destroy.
I lived a perfect, sinless life to be your sacrifice; 
Because the penalty for sin is death, that's all that is suffice. 

"When I died, I took your all your sin and carried it as My own, 

Paying your penalty, buying your freedom, for you on the cross I groaned. 
I paid a high price for you-My very own life-to save you from yourself; 
For without Me, Child, you are damned to death unable to save yourself.

     "So stop running from Me, stop fighting My love, stop refusing to receive my Grace,
Stop thinking you can earn it, deserve it or work for it, for that is just not the case.
I call that pride and arrogance, My Child, and it is not from Me, 
For if you deserved or could earn My Grace, than pointless was Calvary.

"Don't you see it? Do you not understand? This is the point:

My Kingdom is upside down to the world, the prideful it will disappoint;
 Because I do not look for the mighty and strong, those thinking they have it all figured out; 
But the weak, hurting and broken, those who know with me Me that can't live without.

"For only those who are humble and know their need are able to receive this token;
Because the only way to receive it, is if you admit you are broken.
The token I speak of is My GRACE, the only thing that will save you from your sin;
But in order to receive it, you have to lay down your pride and let Me come in.

"So run to Me Child, run to your Savior, into My arms of Grace; 
Don't try to handle this yourself, for you will fall flat on your face.
For every time you struggle, disobey or fall into that old pattern of sin;
I am standing right there, waiting for you to ask Me to step in.

"Never think you've fallen too far, that I can't take you back;
For that is what the enemy wants you to believe to keep you off track!
So when you mess up, run to Me Child, and let Me wash you clean,
So that you no longer live a slave, but in My love and victory!

"Jesus is just waiting there, for you to take His hand"
(Photo creds go to the amazing Sarah Harken)



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